hmmmm. he left my place at 2+pm.
because we quarreled.
this time round, he asked for a break up.
hmmmm. i respect that then.
i finally realised the feeling when ur partner asked to break up.
is it really over?
he came back and left porridge, cough and flu med at my doorstep.
i replied in the msg saying tt he doesn need to do all these when we're breaking up or rather we broke up already and thank him for tt.
after awhile later, he msg saying if e porridge is plain den i can get e smelly tofu in the fridge to go with it.
i replied askin y is he doing all these? rubbing more salt onto my wound?
after awhile i sent another msg asking if this time round he's really givin up, if so, then i'll give up totally as well. no reply.
took a nap, woke up. sent another msg sayin not to leave me hanging. i need the ans to settle my feelings and it's either a yes or a no if he's serious abt givin up. called him twice. no reply, no ans.

still having fever, flu, bad cough and sore throat.
i blamed him for not taking care of me.
he asked me not to on the aircon to slp.
but my room cnt. the reason y i dun open my two long windows because insects can just fly in. it's e 3rd storey and not 13th storey. if so, den there's no ventilation.
yst ate dinner with sr n gf. was eatin rice but i started coughin real badly.
he asked me to eat porridge. i didn wan to. it's not the rice tts makin my throat. it's the dishes; curry fish head, fried sotong and sambal kang kong. every mouth i take, it goes with a mouth of sugarcane. those really worsen my throat real badly.
i blamed him for not orderin at least a dish tt suits me. he said he did ask me. but infront of sr, i'll feel ps. since he was ordering, i taut he'll auto to order a dish for me.
when dey said curry fish head, i was like huh i cnt eat den dey didn wanna order. after tt when i sae dey go ahead nvm, den he sae just eat e fish lorz. i was really suffering during tt meal.
before eatin these, he wanted to eat frog porridge or wadsoeva. tts spicy.
tts y i blame him for not knowin how to tc of me.
no matter how seriously sick i am, it doesn affect him.
he just treats me like a healthy human being. eat wadeva he wants n i follow.
today when i woke up, i was really f* sick. everything just worsen.
he asked to go tm to buy e wrapped chicken then go to his place to eat. in my mind i was like huh? i'm sick. i jus wanna rest at hm. gettin e chicken is not a prob, but not gg to his place. sick already stil go to ppl's hse den start coughin n etc. passing e germs man. not v nice.
to me, face is an impt issue. my image n reputation v impt. if anyone realise...
anyway i teared. cuz to me, i really need someone who can take care of me when i'm sick.
tts e least. what was i askin from him from the start?
buyin me food n med n takin care of me. tts wad i was asking for tts all.
he did it in e end, but it was too late.
we were over already. so no pt then.
to me, if i noe my partner is sick at hm, i seriously dun mind gettin e food n med for him and gg all e way down. after settling him, den i'll go hm.
tts y when i was sick n he was at hm, i was hopin he could do tt. nvm.
i didn say anything cuz i dun wan him to tink i expect too much from him agn but since we're over, den it's ok.
he's an independent guy. when he's sick, he takes care of himself. flu den just take flu med den ok already. still gg out n usual activities for him.
but for me, i'm not independent. i seldom fall sick. once i'm down, it's serious. n i need someone to tc of me. which partner doesn wish e other to look after when she/he is down...

anyway, no reply still.
i'll take it as he gave up.
i'll give up as well.

more jobs assignments.
tts a gd thing for me now.
to keep my mind busy. yup.

tmr is sheena girl's birthday!
wanted to bake her a cake but no time! boo! gotta wait till next weekend den. gosh!

his birthday comin soon as well.
wanted to bake a heart-shape cake for him as well.
but now, hmmm... nvm den.
don't have to do tt anymore.
will get him e pressie he wants still. tts all.
saving up right now...