ok. after he disappear on sunday, he finally msg me on mon while i was in a movie with chi kuan. oceans 13! like finally~

here's the convers:
me: i just wanna say the promise about spending my birthday with you, it's not necessary already... you don't have to keep that promise le. it's ok ya... take care~
he: peiwen, though you don't despise me, but i think i'm not good enough for you.
me: nvm... it's over le...
me: seriously i feel you're good enough but now thats not the main prob. i gave up because i saw the video you posted for another girl. the song is nice and the lyrics is meaningful
he: o.O it's just a song? nvm since you say so i have nth to say.
me: it's a song? this type of song... you just imagine i post this to another guy lorz...
he: that girl is my 1yr 10month ex. i just happen to see that song and thought of her so i posted it. that's all. no other meaning. but if you wanna anyhow think then it's up to you.
me: but you can't blame me for thinking that way what... i didn't even know and that's 1st reaction a person should have when seeing such stuff...
he: no, it goes to show that you don't trust me and you think i'm those kind of guy. that's why i say i'm not good enough for you.
he: got nth to say le right.
me: if you feel that i don't trust you, then why didn't you do things to gain my trust instead? seriously, it's so hard to reach you... feels damn insecure on you know...
he: i don't know what i've done in the past that broke your trust.
me: you didn't break the trust. it's just that you'll disappear at times without replying or telling me... then i don't know what happen to you that type ah... n it's so hard to reach you...
he: what do you mean by its hard to reach you?
me: it's like you'll take hours to reply my msg then sometimes even i send a few msg or call you, i still can't reach you... it's like mia ah... then i'll be there waiting for your msg or reply till i give up...
he: and you give up that easily?
me: do you know it's tiring to wait for replies? it's not just one time... everytime you start to dota... weekends... your replies are really slow... thats why i don't send 2nd msg already. instead, i'll wait for your reply. when you're free, you'll reply. so no point sending 2nd msg...
he: but i never reply doesn't mean i'm with another girl or wad ma. so what has it got to do with trust?
me: huh? i didn't say you're with another girl type of thing ma.. i don't feel secure because you'll disappear suddenly. just like yesterday, you just suddenly emo then disappear then i'm like so lost. waiting and waiting for your reply... at least tell me what you gonna do before doing it ma...
he: but sometimes there're things which i can't put it out in words de ma.
me: just like you know i'm trying to reach you but you wanna be left alone. just tell me that you need some time alone and will msg me when you're ready. at least i know whats happening to you... just imagine we're gg quite smoothly then suddenly one day i just mia... how would you feel?
he: ok i understand. i'm sorry.
me: but why you suddenly get emo and feels that way? i thought we're doing quite well...
he: i find that we're on different wavelength. our interests don't really match and our habits are different also.
me: hmmm... so what are you suggesting? we'll just stop where we are or?
he: i don't know leh. what do you suggest?
me: when you 1st replied me telling me that you feel you ain't good enough, you already have that answer in mind le right? you're thinking we can't work out right since you've those type of thinking?
he: i don't know. my mind is blank.
me: hmmm... i also don't really know what to do. guess lets just take a break and really think it through on what we really want ba... do you really need me? are we able to overcome those differences? or we should just stop where we are and move on?
he: i don't know. i should be asking you instead. rmb that time we went orchard to meet your friend the one in sch u, when you saw her then you let go of my hand. i don't know what does that signify.
me: i didn't realise that. sorry. seriously, there's no meaning to it. i just wanted to approach her. that's all...

hais... this is so complicated. marcus i like pyscho-in me to get into a relationship with bryan. btw, marcus is bryan's cousin. he feels that bryan is hesitating and thinking way too much and both of us are thinking negatively now... he wanted to pyscho or influence bryan but i told him not to do so. i want bryan to really think it for himself. what he really wants and what he intends to do. i shouldn't be the one leading him. he should know what he really wants and not waiting for my answer to lead him. that's not the way of life man... anyway, i just want to move on with my life... especially it's my holiday now! wasted part of my holiday already... :(