hais... hurt? or getting numb soon?
no idea.
today i msged him saying i'm ready but don't know if he is.
no reply. thought might be because he was having service skills and would msg me during his break.
nope. no reply. thought he might be tired or whatever possibilities i can come out with.
alright. ya. then when i reached town, at zara, i msg him saying zara has sales. thought he might be interested because he shops there as well.
nope. no reply all the way till now...
as time passes, it hurts more...

when you didn't reply till now, it reminds me of the past when you suddenly emo then you were mia for the next few days.
history repeating itself?
i have fear... but still, i choose to trust you...
you said you will change but your actions aren't showing...
every action signify something...

to me, i'm like of no importance to you...
because you didn't even bother to send a single sms to me for this whole day.
if i'm of even a little importance to you, you would msg me, right?
what's this now?
you said you won't disappear but what are you doing now?
leaving me alone with no directions again...
instead of gaining confidence from you, you're making me to feel even less confident.
so why bother telling me that you will wait for me?
why wait? i'm like nothing to you...
do you even care about me in the first place?
should i just make a conclusion now from your actions, from tues till now?
your promise to me worth nothing, is it?

you told me that we can be like the past after all these things happened.
but are we even moving a step closer to it?
nope. but instead, we're moving backwards...

i'm quite hurt...
but going to change my mentality that he shall not be at that position in my heart any longer...

yan jie just told me that if i don't know what to do, then don't do anything...
maybe he's right...
when waiting for my dad at 11+pm, i sent him a msg saying," no msg for this whole day?"

what am i exactly hoping for now?
no idea.
maybe just being numb to everything...